Apparently, my blog is really depressing. However, Rob tells me it also feels honest. So I don't care if it's depressing! I can easily see how this could all be read as whining and just a pathetic orgy of me feeling sorry for myself. Well . . . thats bullshit. Muscle-jerking panic attacks, suicide fantasies, being unwilling to get out of bed for days at a time, and (almost) inexplicable outbursts of anger are not healthy. You would think that after 15 years of self-analyzation in an attempt to be more accepted and "normal" and, for God's sake, successful!, would eliminate any stuff that was the product of simple laziness or supposed childhood trauma(school-related, not family related). Having the intense desire to slice-up my wrists in protest of this all failure being seen as a result of my being stupid or lazy is, again, NOT healthy!

There. I feel temporarily vindicated against the voices in my head. Aren't these blog things great!

Hey, go check out Eve and Korinne on my blog roll. They're special.