Boy, I sure can pick 'em. Two days after Dirty Pretty Things, I watch Bowling For Columbine. Talk about a barrage of depressing and poignent movies. If I ever needed help believing that there is a Prince of Darkness running the show down here, these films would do it. The systems of fear and opression seem so heavy, and I have such a hard time believing that anything can change. I wish we could pinpoint how the systems got placed, and which people thought them up. Were they evil selfish bastards, or were their ideas twisted by someone else? Is the answer simply that power corrupts? Is there a secret enclave of white men in this country who decided at some point to prey on our fears and tell us to consume so they could be richer? . . . richer and more powerful and die anyway? Or were the systems twisted by something less evident? Something latent and sinister inside us, inside the organism that is human society?

The businesses and corperations and TV networks that we work for suck us in and we all praise the Sam Waltons and defend the corporation we work for because it has stolen our lives. It stole our lives and now that logo, that founder, that company is our father and mother. It gives us money and we want more more more because we are never satisfied. We did everything we were supposed to do! We got the good job, we climbed the ladder, we supported the company, we got the votes, and we lost our consciences in the process because we would do anything for that feeling of amassing more for the company, of getting higher ratings, of making money like we were told to do! Who cares if in the process we instill a nation with fear so that they keep killing each other? Who cares if the single mother has to suffer so that more money comes my way? I'm entitled to it, dammit!! I'm entitled to it because . . . because . . . because I already live better than 80% of the rest of the world?

It's amazing how satisfied people are with not thinking, with following the herd.

I was a Christian in a New England high school . . . I stood up for a belief that was, in that time and place, definately NOT COOL. Only losers claimed to believe in the Bible and went to church. I had a stigma because I was a Christian.
And then... welcome to the South, home of the mega-church! Where the herd is the Christian culture. Where, whether you believe it or not, you go to church and fit-in like everyone else. Soon Baptist churches will be sponsored by The Gap.

Ok, so the dichotomy isn't that simple, but regardless, I faced serious culture shock when I hit Arkansas and Texas.

There is a reason that a lot of The Apostle Paul's letters sound different or seem to conflict. They were sent to different places and different people. I don't think the voice of conformity is usually the voice of God.

We all just want to be accepted. We all want to feel that we are good, that we are correct, that we have succeeded. And we will sacrifice anything for that feeling. . .
And so it is that The Ruler of this world whispers to us from that need, - whispering power and money to the bosses and leaders, whispering fashion lines and video games and a flag on your car. And consciences be damned. . . just like our souls.


I miss New England.