I've realized that the HTML on the majority of blogs that have lasted as long as mine, are much better than mine. I guess I'm just lazy.

The next batch of poetry submissions goes out tomorrow; I'm gonna break 60 total.

Cornerstone is coming soon. It is one the most important events of my year, and I can't quite tell you why. But, I know that I felt out-of-place for most of my life, and then I went to Cornerstone, and, despite the heat and the aches and the lack of home comforts, I felt as though I had found a place where I belonged. People like me, from all over the country, people I had previously only hoped existed, were converging in one place! And yet there were more, with their own tastes and reasons for being here, different from mine, and we were all accepted and part of a community! Naturally, C-Stone always has it's share of schmucks and anti-social problem-causer types. But, every year, they are overshadowed by the attiude of love in the majority.

I don't know what those of us who like to dance-mosh are going to do about the fist and foot-throwing "look at me" moshers. It's a stupid, selfish trend. Instead of getting close-to and bouncing-off each other and pulling people in, they're clearing space with their fists and grabbing attention and pushing people away. From genre to genre, music is fluid and ever-changing, and so, I suppose, is audience behavior. I just hope it is moving in a better direction.

I'll never forget the Living Sacrifice midnight show in 2002 where the dance-moshers gravitated to each other, and we formed our own little pit on the side, drawing people into simple movement - feeling the music. It began with me, Heather, and another girl, with just enough space for ourselves. Soon, people to our sides began to move with that rhythmic heaviness that Sacrifice could create so well; so driving and irresistable, seeping into you and not letting go until the final song was over. And eventually, a few songs before the last encore, I turned around to see, unexpectedly and to my profound joy, well over a dozen people in beautiful dance-mosh form stretching-out behind us in an amoeba-like "pit". Goth girls, overweight metalheads, plain-dressed skinny guys. By the time LS played "Reject" (their usual show-closer), we all had increased in frenzy (passion, fervor, movement?), and the guy in front of Heather and I, who had been gradually moving more and more through-out the whole show, came whirling into the rest of us, his digital camera tied to, and gripped in, his hand, and taking random people shots (he had gotten plenty of the band) as he went! Never had I started something so beautiful. And until Heather and I have children, I'm not sure we ever(wrong word? -needed a modfier) will again.

But, maybe thats one of my probems: I hold too much of the present against the standards of the past.

. . .

Apparently, studies have shown that smells (the olfactory sense in general) trigger memories and rememberances (more vague than memories) than any other sense. And there are more smells remind me of Cornerstone Festival than any other time or place. It is so ingrained in my mind, and yet each year is a set of new experiences. This year I need to put more of my own effort into getting as much as I can out of the fest. That means more shows, more diverse shows, more seminars, more diverse seminars, more writing, more doing with less spending, . . . and more preparation!

Preparation. I have been walking 2 - 3 miles per day for several weeks, because I'm gonna be walking 6 - 8 miles per day, plus dancing at some shows, at C-Stone. My legs and back have to be stronger, and, thanks to unemployment, I have been putting-in the time to get there.

Overall, I'm gonna have it easy compared to some. Some people spend all they have just to get there and get-in, and they have to survive on bare-bones food and water and stay in their great-uncle's leaky 1950's tent. I have an Earliest Access ticket, plus a budget for spending. I can raid my parent's cabinets, my parent's garage, and Heather and I have a plethora of accumulated camping gear from past cornerstones. Despite our low cash-flow and schedualing difficulties(Cornerstone is the last week of Heather's evil summer course in Latin), we are in pretty good shape.

Time for bed. I have lists to make and walking to do tomorrow.


"Our dreams are often lost, but heaven is not far off." - The Myriad