I am fat.

And this is distressing because less than a month ago, I was not fat.

Thanks to my new medication (which, unfortunately, is moderating my moods quite well), I have gained almost 20 lbs. in 3 weeks.

I feel SO disgusting. I'm like a pumpkin on legs. My face has plumped. My back has gone into complete muscular revolt. I am constantly bloated. My stomach muscles are strained and screaming. AND YET. . . my head continues to tell me that I am hungry, always hungry! And so, since I have no self-control whatsoever, I keep eating and eating and eating!

And so I am fat. Fatter than I've ever been in my life.

Big. Huge. Round. Thick. Overwieght. Big-boned. Plump. Tubby. Chunky. Fatty. Corpulent. Stout. Portly. Porcine. Stocky. Chubby. Pudgy. Stodgy. Rotund. Roly-poly. Heavyset. I've got dunlop's disease - my gut dun lops my belt. When I sit around the house, I really sit around the house. I fell over and rocked myself to sleep trying to get back up. I broke my leg and gravy poured-out. When I stand on a scale it says "to be continued... ." I went to the beach and was the only one to get a tan.

As if life wasn't freaking hard enough.

Ways to know that you are not normal:

#1 - It is 5 a.m., you have not slept since yesterday, and you are in your kitchen eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that you are proud of yourself for having just made.

and you forgot a napkin. Oh crap. The kitchen is so far away. Oh no, sticky keyboad buttons.

And sticky mouse.

But it tastes SO GOOD!