Freakin' hilarious! Go checkout the penguin gif/movie over at IdeaJoy!

In the face of this fecal safari, I open myself to the downy compunction of cheese. I will only eat goat cheese, because goats have the stairmaster jukebox liposuction attatchments that ease my astro-turf. Now, perhaps you are thinking, "Blistex!" But I must warn you against such flatulent cocktails, especially the one's with slow-roasted jimmy-hat polo. It's like the time Horacio and I got wasted and woke up on the express bus to Copenhagen, . . . ok, I stole that. Well, at least my sink has a pelvis! There's no need for accusations! How dare you downsize my rectum with hats? Forget it, I'm taking the camel back to St. Jude. Just clean up before you leave. I'm not calling-in more rhinestone mexicans.

I think most people have hardcore and metal music all wrong. They think it is about rage, but they are incorrect. It is about intensity! I have seen people dance-mosh to hardcore with huge smiles on their faces. Through the screams and yells of hardcore vocals I have heard words of introspection, love, joy, and praise. This music is about utilizing an intense form of sound and songwriting. It's about energy. Admittedly, there are also songs of pain, sadness, frustration and rage. But anger in itself is not sinful or dangerous. There are bands, however, who use rage as their sole motivation, and this is unhealthy. So you have my two-cent defense of my favorite music genre.

Anyway, in other narcissistic news:
The willingness to let myself write poetry again has yet to surface. It has been gone for over a year. If it returns, does that mean I am finally healed from that five-month or so period when it felt like the shadow of death was over me? Have I simply been afraid to let life touch me? When I try to write, I feel foolish . . . like this is a waste of my time, like I'm trying to fulfill a useless fantasy. But I have written good poetry in the past. Not great poetry, but good poetry. Where is that now? Am I simply unable to write about life because I'm not living much of one? . . . No. It's a desire issue. I just don't seem to care anymore. There are too many people speaking and not enough listening. Maybe I just feel like listening for awhile.

I've decided that a complaint department needs to be designated at the Kinko's where I work. The complaint department will be manned by a drunken wookie.

I hate Nostalgia. Today I tried to lay outside in the hammock. The warm summer air and summer smells got me into my memories. As I dozed, I was a kid again, bored to death at grandma's house in Hot Springs, AR. I was so bored, I rolled acorns down the driveway and thought it was a blast.

Then as my mind drifted. . . I was at Camp Spofford. And I got stuck there. You see, I spent four summers working at Spofford. And living so close, I worked there through three winter retreat seasons. I practically lived there every weekend. Then my family moved and I went to college. After my freshman year I worked one more long summer and I have NEVER been back since. I wanted to go. But I've been half-way across the country. I had college life to occupy me.

But to think: I was a fixture there for four years, then I dropped off the face of the earth. Does it make a difference to the people I knew there? People are what matter most in this life (outside of God's glory, blah blah blah). Do any of my Spofford friends remember me? Do any of them care? I look back through pictures and see people I felt strongly for: girls I had crushes on (Katie), guys I laughed with (Matt), leaders who encouraged me (Darrell). To be honest, there were lots of bad times, but the good times definately outway them. And what about the times I screwed-up, or said the wrong thing, or treated someone lousy? Do those times define me, to the people I left behind, more than anything positive I may have done? I wish I knew.

I know I must go back there. Not just for the people, though few of those I knew may be left, but also to see the beach, the dining hall, the kitchen, the staff cabins, Knute's Cafe. I need to see that these places still exist, that the places that housed so many memories still stand. Why? I don't know. After all, it's the people who matter most. I guess I'd rather have my nostalgia quelled and my questions left unanswered.

Wow. Making a "Best of Zao" CD is really difficult! Even at 80 minutes.

My dog, Reliable, has a bandage on his foot because he had a mishap when he got too close to the lawnmower. He cannot run in yard or chase the tennis ball. He cannot wrestle with our other dog, Tressy. He cannot take walks around the neighborhood. All of the activities that he truly loves, he cannot do. "It is for your own good," I tell him. He doesn't understand that he cannot do these things because he needs to heal. He doesn't understand that it truly is "for his own good."

For well over a year, I have been so lonely. All my connections, all my social joys, are so far from me. I drive home every night with the windows down, fantasizing a social scenario while smelling the summer air. But I arrive to a sleeping family and a computer screen glow. My weekends are fulfilled if I rent a movie or buy a book. I haven't "gone out with friends" in months. I haven't "gone out" at all, unless you count getting a coffee and staring at the poetry section in Borders. I feel bullied by life, like I was driven into this situation. I don't know if it was meant to be, or if something I did earned it. Probably a little of both. I don't even know if it is for my own good, and whether whatever is broken is healing.

Ok. I forgot to specify for the sake of those passing through. The people invited to the Aardvark of Freedom are people I already know; friends I've had for a long time. However, I am happy to link to anyone who asks and who has a good blog going. Such as Bryce. I'll link you up soon, bro.

The drums are beating. New members of the promised blog family are gathering. The Blind Seeker is up and running(read the description), and soon Barbarossa Monkey Beard (once we figure out why his page won't load . . . huh huh, load) will also be sailing the high seas of the web. And I mean HIGH!

This collective will grow, my friends; it will grow into a gang, a tribe, a soccer riot! I've invited only the coolest individuals to contribute. We just need some body english! ...I have no idea what that means. We need a name . . . like the Band of the Red Hand! No, Robert Jordan might sue us. Um, the Tom Servo Nation? No, too limiting. The Tribe of Gouda! No, too cheesy. Ok, I'll stop.

Bad, bad news! Mp3.com is on the verge of closing up shop. As far as I'm concerned this is tragic. The huge mess that is Kazaa may be our only fallback. If there are any other non-corporate-corrupted venues for hearing free music, I'm not aware of them. Find out more here .

Well, I have validation for my life on the web! A complete stranger left me a comment. It's great. But now I feel bad for not more completely describing the shows in my Cornerstone Concert Log. Maybe I'll get around to it. Right now it's late, although Lateralus is helping keep me up. At the very least I need to explain that Saturday at C-Stone was a big day of "firsts" for me. Heather and I only truly went to ONE concert that day, I have never gone to only one concert on a full day of C-Stone.

Well, Friday night (technically Saturday morning) my wallet was stolen from the changing room in the showers. I've never had my wallet stolen. I checked at the lost and found a couple times on Saturday and eventually it showed-up, with no money in it of course, but it was only about $20.

Saturday morning, as Heather and and I were walking to C-Stone midway, we saw a couple of boys (about 13 or 14) riding downhill towards us and a few other people. They were moving FAST. Well one boy hits the breaks and completely wipes-out right in front of me, a pretty serious tumble. A few more feet and he would have hit me . . . it may have been better if he did. Me, Heather and two other guys lean in to help him. I ask if he is ok. He says, "Yeah, but my arm's not." Then he stands up and his wrist is completely dislocated! He says, "Oh that's not good." Understatement. The kid was in shock. I was surprised his forearm bone wasn't poking through the skin. Yeah, it was gross. I was a little paralyzed when I first saw the injury. I had never seen someone seriously injured in front of my face before. Well, the other kid goes to the get the injured kid's dad, a guy nearby picks up the kid's bike, and we all walk to the Medical trailer. The guy with the bike was smart, he kept the kid talking about where he was from and other stuff so the kid wouldn't focus on the pain in his arm. I was pretty freaked out. The guy with the bike took the kid into the first aid station and Heather and I moved on. I walked CAREFULLY for a couple of hours after.

Anyway, that afternoon the beach was closed because a drowned body was found! We didn't find out the details until later, but at the time Heather and I only saw ambulances and police cars arrive, and a line of people in the water, searching from the shore to about 75 feet or so into the water. There were reserve swimmers in the shallows following along to relieve those who got tired. As we later found out, no one else was missing, but the searchers were organized just to make certain. The person who was found was a 23 year-old boy. Here is the link for more info. That was a first as well. I was relieved to find out that no one else was still missing.

These events were all very depressing, but that night ... as Heather and I were on our way to watch Spirited Away at the imaginarium (we had already rented it but we loved it so much we went for the big screen), we passed by the tent where Madison Greene was playing. They were TEARIN' IT UP!! I have never seen so many people dancing at once. The band uses so many diverse and ethnic instruments while maintaining a coursing, driving drum sound. The whole experience was truly worshipful; God-focused. I love modern Christian hippies. The dancers spilled out of the tent and into Cornerstone Midway. I wish I had not felt so tired or I would have busted some moves. But it's ok cause I busted plenty of moves at Living Sacrifice;o)

Lastly, after the Living Sacrifice show, Heather and I stopped by the Asylum (the Goth tent) which we had not done yet, to get some iced tea and coffee. Goth is probably the subculture with the fewest Christians, but those who come to C-Stone do so in all their glory! Anyway, Heather and I walked back to our camp site. We knew that during the LS show there had been a powerful wind and lightning storm. And at our site, the evidence was clear. Of our two canopies, one and been ripped from the ground (all of the metal poles were bent) and hurled over Heather's car and about 40 feet of ground to land on someone's van! Our nice nieghbors gathered it up and piled it up by our site. The other canopy was roughly still in place, but it was crippled. It was as if half of it ripped free of the ground and half didn't (all of the poles were again bent). Every light item under the canopies had been blown up against or under Heather car, so we didn't lose much. Another neighbor had a destroyed canopy too, but not as bad as ours. We left it all alone and took pictures once daylight came. I thank God that storm waited till the last day.

Alright, thats enough story-telling for now. I'm going to go read some more of Counter-Clock World by Philip K. Dick. Goodnight.

Oh dear God. I just worked a 20-hour shift! It was for a $30,000 job and sweet overtime bucks, but regardless I'm clearly insane.

Never again!

. . . must sleep now.

A week ago I returned from Cornerstone Festival. How shall I describe it? . . . I have stood beneath a weak stream of cold water and been thankful. I have run wild into a lake barely cleaner than the Ganges. I have chugged a bottle of warm water only to dance it out of my system in 5 minutes. I have woken-up cursing the loud Canadian camping next door. I haven't worn underwear in 3 days. My feet hurt, my back aches, I've lost 10 pounds, and I've cried in worship with a ska band. And you know, my only regret in that haven't moshed a little more. I know my father God is here.

I wish I could qualify each seperate Cornerstone, but I can't. It is like an ongoing experience; a place out of time, no matter what music or clothing fashions might be dominating; we just pick it up again each year. It stays with me always. I dream about it in December. It stays with me, because it is in me, just as God is in me, just as God is in Cornerstone. Confused? I guess you have to experience it for yourself. My primary advice is; if you come, come looking for God.

This is my yearly Cornerstone Festival Concert Log. A list of the bands I saw at C-Stone and a few words about them. It is a list that means almost nothing to anyone but me, but then again this is MY blog. If you want to see clips of many of the shows from this year, go checkout the link at the bottom.

Day 2:
Hope For August – Young band from Michigan, great emo, like Further Seems Forever, strong female vocals that need some training. 7/10

Mending Chaos – Amazing music, hideous off key overbearing sung vocals. Music like early Cool Hand Luke but with piano consistently in the mix, each instrument played with precision. But the vocals kill it! 4/10

Day 3:
Fighting Jacks – indie rock, nothing special. 5.5/10

Still Breathing – Latest female vocalist is solid, the band as a whole has much better stage presence, they are definitely going the way of math-metal (driven by time-changes). 6.5/10

The Death Campaign – Good doom metal, creative and melodic, great stage presence, uses dual vocals and keyboards (six members). 7.5/10

Slow Coming Day – Awsome! 8/10

The Agony Scene – The sound mix was screwed-up at first but got better, guitar player has great presence, they played “Paint it Black” by the Stones! 6.5/10

Mae – not bad. 6/10

Anberlin – A very fun, rockin’ show, vocals need some strength. 8/10

MeWithoutYou – The crowd was insane, louder than the vocalist. The band not really “on” tonight, needs a smaller venue. The vocal mic was too low. During one song a friend of the band brought his girlfriend up on stage and proposed to her! She said yes. The new stuff sounds great. 7/10

Spoken – New stuff sounds very good, great stage work as always, vocals very strong, singer gave the mic to the crowd too often during the old songs. 8/10

Day 4:
Noise Ratchet – Very solid set, played their best songs. 8/10

Copeland (piece) – solid. 7/10

The Party People – Super-group with members of Ghoti Hook, Starflyer 59 and Denison Marrs, lots of fun. 8/10

Leper – Good goth music, sung vocals alternate with high-end screams, only two guys and a CD player, VERY showy (almost too showy) and evangelical. 7/10

Torn Skin (piece) – Six-piece industrial, decent music, techno parts needed to be more powerful. 5.5/10

Nodes of Ranvier (missed beginning) – good show, love the hardcore anthems. 7.5/10

Unwed Sailor (piece) – sounded good. 7/10

Robert Randolf and the Family Band (piece) – Wild! Dance party and rock riffs, black Pentecostal worship. 9/10

Demon Hunter – Played every song from the CD plus one new one, sound not mixed well, vocalist needs to work on signing voice. 7.5/10

Day 5:
Brandtson – They sound so good live, played “Blindspot” from their first CD. 7.5/10

Holland (piece) – pop, ugh. 6/10

Beloved – Great prescence, songs sound great live, but way too much dead time between songs. 7.5/10

Narcissus – Blew me away! The new stuff is excellent. 9/10

Cool Hand Luke (piece) – Opening was VERY boring! 5/10

Zao – Still such powerful music, show opened with blackness then strobe lights only revealing Dan in white shirt covered in fake blood…creepy. They spoke more than any other show of theirs I’ve seen. Announced a new full length to be recorded in August. 8.5/10

Day 6:
Miranda Stone (piece) – Fun show, bluesy. 8/10

Waterdeep – Very weak compared to what I know they can do. 5/10

C-Stone Birthday Bash – 77’s, Jan Crist, Resurrection Band, Derri Daughtery and Steve Hindalong (Choir song - acoustic), Living Sacrifice, Ashley Cleveland, Squad 5-0 (second song with Mike Knott), Over the Rhine (acoustic), Lost Dogs, Bill Mallonee (V.O.L. song - acoustic), Relient K. 8.5/10

Steve Taylor – Showed mockumentary of Taylor’s life and music career before show (hilarious). Fun, solid show, a dream concert come true. 10/10

Five Iron Frenzy – Always a great show. They tossed piñatas to the crowd, two of which were filled with pork and beans, the rest with candy. Sadly, they are disbanding this fall. 10/10

Blindside (piece) – Their live sound is a shadow of their CD sound. Very disappointing. They have good stage presence though. 6/10

The Prayer Chain – Reunion show, amazing performance, intro and outro were too long. 9.5/10

Day 7:
Living Sacrifice – A classic LS performance, even without Rocky Gray (off somewhere with Evanescence). They are also disbanding. 10/10

Cornerstone Festival Live Coverage 2003

Hopefully, if you have stopped in at this blog, you've followed the links and gone over to Whisper The Muse and Linguistic Liability. She's the Groucho to my Harpo , the Crocket to my Tubbs, the monkey to my business, the booty to my call, the Johnny Depp to my Pirates of the Carribean.

Yeah.

Oops. I don't have a contact link up yet. So for my e-mail I am theflyingmonkeyarmada@hotmail.com (I'm serious).

You know, I've decided that trying to read while listening Nodes of Ranvier (look for them at MP3.com under their name or under Facedown Records . . . or just cruise Kazaa) does them a disservice. There is just so much creativity going in their music that I have to pay attention. It is brain music . . . or at least the new album is.

Yeah.

Welcome to the school of Hardcore Poetics. I have yet to determine an ideology behind that title, but it sounds good in my ear and it has for a long time. So when I come up with something I'll let you know. Now, I don't know why you are here, but if you have come by out of sheer curiosity I encourage you to be slow to judge and to return often. I have big plans for the Hardcore Poetic. Soon I will be linked to a gathering of powerfully creative and bizaare minds; pouring forth their words of insanity, infecting the neighborhood with slap-happy genius, carving a niche where the brilliant and the absurd roll together on the beach, erotically entangled like in "From Here to Eternity!" . . . pardon my ambitious grammar.
Until the time of absurd brilliance arrives, feel free to e-mail me with requests for topics that you would like to see me ramble about. But no clown porn!! Now, I'm going to watch some MST3K then read The Ballad of Beta-2 while listening to Nodes of Ranvier. A goodnight to you.