I give up. I can't write cerebral non-fiction. I become fervent for three hours, all sorts of arguments and cases and concrete ideas flowing through my brain, and then . . . "shit". It's gone. I can't make a nursury rhyme sound coherent.

Perhaps if I could take off work every time I became inspired, then great! But instead, I lose all argumentation before I have a chance to make my case, . . . a case which was never asked-for in the first place. And perhaps that is the problem. I hate the idea of my deciding that my voice should be heard when no one has expressed any interest. But does that matter? I don't know.

Perhaps to reclaim the insights, I need to come at the subject from a different angle . . .

So many people are willing to pare the world down into nice little peices and make it all so neat and simple, and they are fools. My words will mean nothing to them and they have no desire to expand their world. I, for instance, have come a heluva long way from where I was six years ago . . . even though my life may not show it.

For example, I no longer see music as being either "Christian" or "non-Christian." That's absurd. "Christian" denotes a behavior and a belief, something applicable to a life, a person. Music is notes on a page! I just listen to music! There are Christian musicians and there are non-Christian musicians. Neither one makes music that is either Christian or non. A song is not sacred in and of itself, regardless of the words even. A song is made sacred to a person on a personal, spiritual level. I suppose a song could also be made sacred through a decree from God - but either way, there is no requirement that the song be written by a Christian musician in order for it to be made sacred! Would God be so limited? When I listen to music I may listen for certain qualities that please me, but I do not use those qualities to define that music on a basis by which music should not be defined. It is the notes, the tempo, the rhythm, etc. that define music.

Now, admittedly, I cetainly like to support Christian musicians, because they and I share the same spirit. We believe in a God who wants people to come to him and be saved from sin. So naturally, I want to support Christian artists. But I don't want them "out there" just because they are Christians. I truly desire for Christian musicians to hone their craft and strive to make strides in their music. And I find they do that, just as much as much as any non-Christian. There is just as much crap being made by Christians (this definately excludes the CCM market because that could completely tip the scales) as there is being made by non-Christians!! The more I have opened my ears to all that is out there, the more I find this is true.

But back to the point. Those qualities that I listen-for in music, I do not distinguish whether or not the musician is a proclaimed Christian when I listen for those qualities. I just listen to music. Naturally I find that lyrically, I am more in-tune with a Christian writer than a non-Christian one, - but that is never the case across the board (see earlier comment about sacred music).

So draw all the arbitrary lines you want and enjoy your simple little world.

I am so desperately looking forward to C-Stone this year. I think it's because good concerts have abandond northwest Arkansas. But it's also probably because I work in a bookstore that pipes-in CCM drivel all day and at a college where everyone lives in a bubble of uniformity and alls-well facades.

Oh, and I'll be able to have sex in the middle of 20,000 people, too.

further reading:

"Imagine: A Vision for Christians in the Arts" by Steve Turner

I love it. At least I know that Korinne reads this blog. Because she sent me her address!! We are almost done with the invites. Most have gone out and as we think of people we have forgotton we send out more.

Heather and I are listening to a marriage CD. Our pastor is doing our marriage counselling and we'll feel guilty if we go into our session tomorrow without having listened to this CD.

I bowled the best game of my life last week. A 204! Then I got addicted and Heather (who still can't bowl as much as she could before the accident) had to sit and watch as I bowled 6 speed games. ...yeah, I am a jerk.

My best man is writing an original peice of music for our wedding processional. It sounds amazing so far. He is also one of the few people privy to knowing what our super-secret recessional will be (you'll get a full report after the event).

Heather is bewildered that I know how to bake, but not how to cook.

The new Dead Poetic is awsome, and so is the new Killswitch Engage - although I'm not supposed to know that yet.