Well, my mood hasn't changed much. I've been listening to Alice Cooper's "Brutal Planet" CD for two days. Lollipops and sunshine it is not. But there is a relief in it. Because although, in this CD, Alice is singing about the terrible reality and gravity of our falleness, he does so through some amazing and kick-butt songs! The quality (or beauty) of the music (in my opinion) is the redemption. Plus, I consider that he is singing from his new Christian viewpoint, and therefore a quiet hope underscores the CD. He uses the language of morality too much (plus he mentions God and Satan too much, even outlining the story of the fall in the title track) for it to be simple nihilism. And dang, those songs have power! . . . hey, when did this become an album review?

Anyway, given this mood, it is probably a good thing that "A Feast for Crows" by George R. R. Martin didn't come out today like it was supposed-to. I'm a glutton for pain when it is brilliantly written.

Boy, I sure can pick 'em. Two days after Dirty Pretty Things, I watch Bowling For Columbine. Talk about a barrage of depressing and poignent movies. If I ever needed help believing that there is a Prince of Darkness running the show down here, these films would do it. The systems of fear and opression seem so heavy, and I have such a hard time believing that anything can change. I wish we could pinpoint how the systems got placed, and which people thought them up. Were they evil selfish bastards, or were their ideas twisted by someone else? Is the answer simply that power corrupts? Is there a secret enclave of white men in this country who decided at some point to prey on our fears and tell us to consume so they could be richer? . . . richer and more powerful and die anyway? Or were the systems twisted by something less evident? Something latent and sinister inside us, inside the organism that is human society?

The businesses and corperations and TV networks that we work for suck us in and we all praise the Sam Waltons and defend the corporation we work for because it has stolen our lives. It stole our lives and now that logo, that founder, that company is our father and mother. It gives us money and we want more more more because we are never satisfied. We did everything we were supposed to do! We got the good job, we climbed the ladder, we supported the company, we got the votes, and we lost our consciences in the process because we would do anything for that feeling of amassing more for the company, of getting higher ratings, of making money like we were told to do! Who cares if in the process we instill a nation with fear so that they keep killing each other? Who cares if the single mother has to suffer so that more money comes my way? I'm entitled to it, dammit!! I'm entitled to it because . . . because . . . because I already live better than 80% of the rest of the world?

It's amazing how satisfied people are with not thinking, with following the herd.

I was a Christian in a New England high school . . . I stood up for a belief that was, in that time and place, definately NOT COOL. Only losers claimed to believe in the Bible and went to church. I had a stigma because I was a Christian.
And then... welcome to the South, home of the mega-church! Where the herd is the Christian culture. Where, whether you believe it or not, you go to church and fit-in like everyone else. Soon Baptist churches will be sponsored by The Gap.

Ok, so the dichotomy isn't that simple, but regardless, I faced serious culture shock when I hit Arkansas and Texas.

There is a reason that a lot of The Apostle Paul's letters sound different or seem to conflict. They were sent to different places and different people. I don't think the voice of conformity is usually the voice of God.

We all just want to be accepted. We all want to feel that we are good, that we are correct, that we have succeeded. And we will sacrifice anything for that feeling. . .
And so it is that The Ruler of this world whispers to us from that need, - whispering power and money to the bosses and leaders, whispering fashion lines and video games and a flag on your car. And consciences be damned. . . just like our souls.


I miss New England.

I saw Dirty Pretty Things on Friday. Freakin powerful movie. But it gave me courage. If people as disenfranchised as these characters can change thier lives, then so can I. I can stop letting life and it's "rules" push me into a safe and dead place. But there's more to this than just a movie. I believe in the seemingly obvious principle that people are what matter in this life. It is the people God places in our lives from which so much happiness flows. We often don't realize it, . . . untill they're gone, . . . or until we read Microserfs by Douglas Coupland. Or both. So on Monday I give my two-week's notice, and (God help me) Arkansas here I come. I need to be with my muse again.

So yesterday I went to see Freddy vs Jason. Why would I do such a thing? I'm glad you asked. I went for the following reason:

"Anyone weaned on these movies -- which is to say, pretty much anyone who grew up during the 1980s and 1990s -- will get a kick out of seeing how those two universes, with all their respective tropes and rules, have been melded."
-- Rene Rodriguez, MIAMI HERALD

Honestly, slasher films have become a nasty cliche lately thanks to the Scary Movie series. There was nothing terribly frightening in this film. In fact, the classic slasher motif is pretty hilarious at this point, especially in this movie because the antagonists, the "slashers," are already well-known. And I certainly didn't go for the acting. So I went simply because of the title; it was Freddy vs. Jason! After the movie has been out for a while I'll let you all know who, for the most part, wins. But if you already know who I was routing-for, I'll tell you that I came away satisfied.

Well, it's official, American beer is horse piss. I have seen the Promised Land . . . and it is good!

That needs some background, doesn't it?

In the town of Kreuzberg, Germany, there is a brewery. This brewery produces a beer, the name of which I have yet to learn, and some of this beer was placed into a gallon-sized decanter by my cousin (my cousin is in the army and stationed in Germany). My cousin then sealed the decanter (for once opened, it loses it "beerness" within a few hours), and traveled across the ocean to his brother's (my other cousin's) wedding. This beer was then transferred to me, and has waited patiently in my fridge for it's moment. It's moment was this past weekend. Friends, this beer is the hands-down best beer I have ever tasted in my life (yes, even better than the Wizen at the Ozark Brewing Company)! It's true. Ask the Gang of Drunken Mimes, they were there.
It was . . . amazing. It was everything a beer should be. . . . Sigh. I'm moving to germany.
Now I'm gonna badger my cousin until he tells me how to order more. I WILL have more! Even if I have to sell babies.

Speaking of badgers: this weekend, when faced with an angy Yeti, I summoned a level II celestial badger to defend me! Thats right, a celestial badger. This badger has an attack called "smite evil," and was eventually the death of the Yeti. I've never been so proud. I won't mention the tripping over a doorstop and waking-up a 15-foot tall frost giant.

Anyway, I just flew away from the one place on earth I most want to be . . . in my muse's arms. So I'm gonna go cry. Hopefully a better night to you all.

Ah, a new summer excursion! I can almost smell oklahoma. It smells like . . . like . . . the absence of anything remotely interesting. But I will only be passing though Oklahoma (though it will feel like passing a stone). For my true destination is my second Texas wedding of the summer. God, I hope there's cattle!

Anyway, after my last Texas wedding I stopped off in Little Rock, AR, at Harry Balsanga's (I'll never call him "Rob" again) to be crowned "King of Drunken Scrabble," and the "Grand Tourismo Bitch Boy." No such excitement this time . . . because this time I am "Habeus Cock, Wizard of the Inner Fire." ...I like to blow stuff up. Dugeon Master Etter has decreed.

Why, I am even bringing beer smuggled in from Germany! Yes folks, it's all about beer, D&D and picturing Kassy and Josh in the sack. How am I not gonna act like I'm at football game? I plan to yell "TAKE IT OFF!" right before the vows.

Good times.

I have added a link to the Rotten Tomatoes website. It is the most comprehensive and interesting movie review site I have ever found. My favorite feature is that it synthesizes all of the reviews from around the country and compiles them into one rating, providing quotes to back up the rating.

Scroll down, and for those unfamiliar with the art of creating nonsense, you will be educated. Stay tuned . . . Harry Balsagna and I are good at this.

-White-Knucklin' the Hosiery